Does the ‘right’ reason to have kids actually exist?
Hi, Carolyn: From what I can tell, all the following are the wrong reasons to have kids: 1. To keep a relationship together. (It could make it worse.) 2. To have someone to take care of you in old age. (That gives them a role they didn’t ask for.) 3. To make your parents happy. (It’s your life, not theirs.) 4. To copy your friends. (That’s immature.) 5. To give yourself a life purpose. (You shouldn’t make new people to feel purposeful; get a hobby.) Etc. So what are the right reasons? Do they actually exist? The only one left that stands up to scrutiny seems to be, “Because I wanted to,” but that actually feels like it’s WORSE — it has LESS substance than some of the others, which I think we all agree are garbage. — Right Reasons? Right Reasons?: Well, no, it’s not WORSE, because wanting children is an inner motivation, whereas your “wrong reasons” are mostly external — plus, to a child, being wanted doesn’t just have substance. It’s the most precious substance there is. Plus, the parental wanting-to can be a desire to give love. (And receive, but no guarantees there for sure.)
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