Why You Shouldn’t Punish Your Kids for Lying

Getting your children to stop lying is challenging. There are many influences (TV, movies, video games and some great books) in which lies are common. Children see parents lie to others, if only to be polite. Most parents add to that with tales about the lives and activities of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, or to allay fears. (“This will not hurt!”) Parents do this out of love, but for some children, lying can become a problem.

The most common reactions to children who lie are explaining why it is wrong and punishment. As ways of changing behavior, these are ineffective. Here are three better tools supported by research to use instead.

Praise.

Model.

De-emphasize punishment and moralizing.

More From TIME Magazine: